Getting Things Done

Writing, generally, is a bitch. But really, in as much as you can get paid to do it, what a scam. The problem with writing here, though, is that it is a product of the internet, it is inherently connected to the internet. What that means, effectively, is that I can't use my typical strategy of getting things done--waiting until my wireless network dies of its own accord, and then eschewing the act of getting up, unplugging it, and plugging it back in, in favor of overwhelming, orangutan-like laziness.1 Instead, I have to compete with the perfect distraction that is everything on my google homepage.

Which is why the idea of China is fucking crazy. I once read that the internet looks like a big neuron, the way the connections are mapped, the way it just sort of freely grows. Like an artificial brain. Unfortunately, it's the brain of a six year old kid with down syndrome.2 Which is more or less why it yells at you about penises, and it is filled to overflowing with images of cats getting in and out of boxes. But not in China. Oh no, not in China. If I am to believe what the media says, its only weakness is its restriction on social expression. Otherwise, it is just the paragon of progress and innovation--if you can see past the general shittyness of everything.3 But I just have to argue, how great is this freedom of expression, really? I mean, yeah, I recognize the irony of talking about this using the most dramatic development in free speech since the invention of soap, and subsequently the boxes within which one carries said soap. But if the grand sum of our efforts toward free expression is this, then I must admit, I am skeptical. In China, its like the government decided to be whatever it is that causes my internet connection to slowly deteriorate, and it pays dividends, in math and science scores, and violin and piano playing abilities.4

Furthermore, as much as it seems like China is racing along at a frighteningly deliberate pace, a country of self-sacrificing nationalistic automatons5, American citizens are acting like bulls in their own china shop. It's not like I'm not guilty. I spend hours of the day watching stupid videos online. I revel in it6. And I admire those who don't. But I'd rather not spend all day qualifying myself, because I understand the other side, and like I said, I remain unconvinced.

And it doesn't look like theres gonna be a big switch, a big shakeup where we start doing things better again. World War II, are you serious, those people were unbelievable. Noble, and humble, and shit. Willing to run recklessly at bullets shot by obviously evil opponents. Our founding fathers. Ben Franklin. Where are our Ben Franklin's now. Ben Franklin once said,"A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave." If Ben Franklin were alive today, after scratching the dried refried beans off his Battlestar Gallactica T-shirt, he would say "Megaporn is down?! Grish Nakh!7 I demand retribution."

So what are we supposed to do? I don't know. Get comfortable, I guess. Admittedly, the whole point of the article was to express that Ben Franklin would be an excellent dungeon master today.

1. The fat kind at the zoo that waves at you, not the spry ones that are so sleek and clumsily graceful.

2. (see 1.)

3. Although that guy who wrote that opinion piece in the NY Times seems to think that it is just some of the most gleaming shit he has ever seen.
4. My sisters' piano teacher growing up refused to take Asian students because she said "they are like little piano playing robots."
5. So they silence dissent. Yeah, it makes it ambiguous as to how many people dislike their individual situation. But if we are to believe any of the Olympic propaganda about all their "volunteers," that is a nation whose citizens have no problem committing to a lifetime of Oregon Trail, at grueling pace with bare bones rations.
6. I plan on making this soon.

7. Indeterminate Klingon. I'd rather not say how much time I spent trying to find out how to say "I demand retribution."