So here it comes. The promised facebook post.
I am torn.
Just ripped asunder. I had a long conversation with this dude, who also happens to teach me, about how weird the internet is. What with all the virtual identities and this odd middle ground that we reside in between anonymity and what we want to be.
Facebook in theory is a great idea. Privacy shit aside, which is really putting a lot aside, the connection thing seems obviously necessary. It's like a phonebook for the computer. Practically a duh kind of connection. But its filling up. Filling up to the point that I am torn.
And for those of you who have been around since the beginning, which is most of you who might ever read this, you have been there for every incarnation. The initial deluge of information. Which I refer to as the "I like 10,000 fucking bands" phase. Which bands you ask? Well, I will list them in their eclectically, self-revealing, glory-- just so you know who I am. Dave Matthews Band you say? Of course. Of COURSE, I like Dave Matthews. I play guitar, acoustic, but you already knew that. But I'll tell you, I like Dave Matthews, but not nearly as much as I like my heady jam bands, because sometimes, on the weekends, I smoke pot. I'm down, as they say. And when I smoke pot I listen to 311, specifically "Amber," because that is a really heady, jammy, song to smoke pot to. And then, when I'm in a mood to harsh my mellows, I listen to slipknot, because I'm harder than you think.
Those days have come and gone. Because suddenly, people's grandparents have facebook. Not that that is a bad thing. Like I said, its like a phonebook. At some point, everyone thinks its important to have a phonebook. You don't just resist owning a phonebook on ideological principle. You might stubbornly resist listing your own number. But when the day is done, it remains a useful tool, and ultimately, with facebook, you have the added bonus of being able to spy on people.
Don't call me weird for wanting to do that. Everybody is curious about what the fuck other people are doing with themselves. Even if its the most fleeting moment of that. For instance, as I write this, I am fucking ravenously curious about what Ben Dworkis is up to. What the hell happened to that guy? I don't want to know any more than his favorite 10,000 bands. That should spell out plenty. And then I'm done, I never want to see or hear from Ben Dworkis again.
But right, that puts me where I am now. I am accruing friendships with more and more people who should not be seeing my information. Facebook has a habit of making things public that should remain private. Pictures for instance. I have never uploaded my own picture to facebook. And there are incriminating pictures of me on facebook, but I don't want to take that shit down. Why is it my responsibility to erase treasured memories of my past, just because some other douche is going to judge me for it? Thats on them, not me. But the filters for hiding that information are just not very effective. They don't have a simple tab, or bin, for "these are all the pictures when I am fucked up." It should be right next to "trip to Rome" or whatever the fuck you think your family might want to see. And so here I am, struggling to keep up with all the people who I do not want knowing exactly what I'm up to, while still trying to allow them some sense of me--which is terrible. It's like the CIA or something. These people are not on a need to know basis. For a second of laziness you might say, well, it wouldn't be that bad. They will just get to know me better than they did before. But then you realize, thats fucking retarded. I say things and do things on there that are straight offensive to most, and only if you subscribe to my specific brand of irony are you able to see that I am not being serious, and I do not have the will, nor the desire, to give detailed explanations of my insincerity to my friend's grandparents. Or my relatives.
And so there you go. It all comes down to facebook being the most obnoxiously fake depiction of a person since a glamour shots glossy. First, your profile is not you. It is who you want to be. You put only so much information as you feel other people should know, hence 311 and DMB. There is never any real honesty. Nobody puts "my favorite place to masturbate is the shower" or "I cheat on girlfriends because I think women are generally dumb," unless you somehow wanted to project "I am an asshole." And then it is put through yet another filter, like some sort of weird Escher painting, because even with this fake identity, the information is still too revealing for the rapidly growing "everyone in the world" contingent of facebook.
I like it as a tool. I like it as an aggregator of my social life. But as far as connecting me to everyone I know, it needs to be broken into pieces. I cannot have these two worlds mixing so seamlessly. I am not dishonest because I like to keep some parts of my life private. I would rather say whatever I want to on facebook without fear of repercussion. But I can't, and it will only get worse. And, what's even worse, is that this is it. This is where people are putting their eggs. MySpace was early adopters. But you could tell that it was a half-baked product. It was not going anywhere. Facebook was the one that learned to adapt, and look at it now. No start- up is going to suddenly get everyone to switch because its "new features" are legitimately better. To quote Simpsons, facebook will just release facebook "with a new hat" and everyone's waning interest will be rejuvenated. It's just like how Amazon will forever be the primary internet shopping website, and eBay will always be the auction site. Facebook is the social networking website and nothing will change that. It is infuriating.
