The Earl Hindman Game

So I was watching the movie Final last night. It is more or less a low-budget rip off of Twelve Monkeys, with no batshit nuts Madline Stowe1, and the guy from the future is now a guy from the past. It's not really worth watching. The whole movie takes place within one room, and the female lead I've seen in other films, but couldn't remember which ones exactly. All that I could determine was that she has never been cast as anything but "cold, heartless, bitch." I've seen her enough to remember at least that. Easily the best part of the movie was the cameo appearance of this man:

Obviously, he didn't have the fence, but there was no denying the dulcet tones and sage advice of Home Improvement's prodigal son, Earl Hindman. In fact, while the movie was wisely being shown during HBO2's 4:30 AM programming block, and thus not being so much watched as listened to as I tried to force myself to sleep; it was through gravely voice alone that I identified the beloved Wilson. Visual verification was difficult sans fence and fishing hat2, but his fat head and googely eyes confirmed it in the end. Needless to say, seeing Wilson after so many years apart was a welcome reunion3. So much so, that in my hazy, between-worlds, thought drift4, I devised what will certainly become the most epic celebrity game since Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. It's sort of like paddidle, or punchbuggy, or any variation on the game where you see a car driving with one headlight. The rules of the game are as follows.

1. Watch TV constantly

2. When you see Wilson in something that is not Home improvement you shout the codeword

3. The codeword is: Wilson!5 

4. You are crowned champion until the next verified Earl Hindman sighting6

Seeing as Earl Hindman has only been in 38 things, and like 5 of them are variations on Home Improvement, and a couple others are voice parts, this game will be effing difficult. Reigns for Wilson! champions are likely to last British monarch lengths. 

As the first crowned Wilson! champion, and being the bloodthirsty tyrant I am, I challenge all to usurp my throne.

1. For those that remember Twelve Monkeys, Brad Pitt also plays a crazy person, but Stowe's version is both a) more compelling and b) more likely to smear feces across the screen in some weird breaking the third wall sort of moment. 

2. Adventure Hat?

3. It should be pointed out that reunion with any other cast member of Home Improvement would be met with a sniveling angry face, a scrunched up nose, and involuntary knuckle-in-palm grinding. Actually, thats not true. If I saw JTT, or little Mark Taylor (RIP1) I would let out a nice, hearty chuckle. 

1 I assume he's dead

4. This drift was primarily dominated by the synesthesia aroused when thinking about the familiar sound of jumping down a Mario pipe2, and the cold-all-over physical sensation that obviously follows that.

2 Waungh-Waungh-Waungh

5. For extra points, "Hi-dee-ho, neighbor!" Although, this takes a few more seconds, and you risk losing the crown to someone less versed in the game of "Wilson!"

6. Wilson cannot be identified multiple times in the same program. For a sexier version of the game, you can also be de-crowned by a sacrificial naked run, three times3 around the building. This will likely be necessary, as gloating from a Wilson! win is certain to be gratuitous.

3. Suck it beer pong.